Medway RFC Cougars

Sunday 6 February 2011

Medway 17 - Sidcup 0

Tries: Morgan, Marchant, Whitnell

Con: Gowdy

Cougars Squad:

The Medway crowd arrived at Priestfields in reasonable good cheer, expecting nothing other than a Cougars victory. This optimism was born from the knowledge that their talismanic sometimes Jonah Head Coach, Mark "He's got to release it" Marriott, had decided to watch his younger son play in the u15s East Kent Cup Final at Canterbury. Your scribes note that the u15s succumbed to a narrow loss (2 points) against Thanet and our advice to Geoff, "I'll play anywhere", Kempt - is don't let him watch - he's our problem!

"Laces" absence left the coaching staff with only one problem - who was going to helpfully inform our opposition of Medway's set plays by bellowing them loudly from the sidelines? After much discussion and acknowledging that "Sir" Pat Nolan was tucked up trying to ref three games at once, Gary "TAF" Simpson couldn't remember the calls, and that John "I've done the course" Fitzpatrick was busy berating the referee (and the game hadn't even started), the final decision was not to bother.

The match kicked off and for long periods it seemed that Wheezy from Toy Story was in charge with the game being interrupted at regular 30 second intervals by a short high pitched asthmatic whistling sound. The players eventually came to realise that the sound was an indication that Medway should practice walking backwards in ten metre incremental steps whilst Sidcup got to perfect the art of kicking to touch. On the few occasions that the game did flow, Medway looked dangerous moving the ball, whilst Sidcup were dogged in defence.

That said there were some rugby moments to be proud of. Firstly, a fine attack lead by Tom "Never surrender" Whitnell and "Wing Commander" Tom Brown, ably assisted by Max "The Power" Fenton which was eventually thwarted. Shortly afterwards a fine ball through the backs saw the baby faced assassin Conor Chalmers making the extra man in the line as he came up from full back and took the ball through with a spirited run to within 5 metres of scoring before being bundled into touch. A series of penalties were the only way out for Sidcup and they kicked their way clear to half way. Medway recovered and Alex "The eyebrows" Marchant set our resident chatterbox, Charlie Wardzynski, away who danced through the Sidcup backs, supported well by the Ginger Peril, Luke Gowdy, who took the ball on and chipped over the defence for Alex "Mop" Morgan to chase. A lovely bounce favoured The Mop who gathered and ran on to score. The coaches reprimanded him for showboating by straightening his hair as he went over the line. Wardzynski's conversion attempt was just wide so 5-0. The Cougars maintained the pressure and lovely work from the Wing Commander and our very own teetotaller, Matthew Kennedy, took the play to the Sidcup 5 metre line. Kennedy thought he'd scored as he went over the line but the game was brought back for a knock on. Sidcup's scrum would be spoiled many times by fine, controlled, strong pushes by the Medway forwards, and this time the ball spilled out of the side where the Eyebrows, playing at 9 for the first time for Medway, picked up and carried over. Wardzynski's kick was again tantalisingly wide. The next phase of the game was messy and scrappy with little of note. "Gorgeous" George Simpson then replaced the wee man, Lewis Marriot who had had a fine spell at hooker, and the Wing Commander limped off to be replaced by Junior Frenchie Mk II, Dominic French. Sidcup continued to spoil and the Teetotaller was forced to come off allowing the Wing Commander to return. The Cougars then broke with a fine chip from Wardzynski but Sidcup collected and made a break from the backs. Good cover from Medway prevented the move from getting too far and we were soon back on the offensive. The Power made way for Harrison, "Care Bear", Irons as the half came to a close with Whitnell powering through as only Whitnell can to within 2 metres of what would have been a well deserved try. Half time score 10-0.

Regular trainer, Sam Cornell, replaced George "new boy" Nebbs at the start of the second half. Sidcup kicked off and the Wing Commander rocketed across and up the pitch like a Red Arrows display on speed on one of his many telling runs. Medway secured a penalty which Wardzynski fired into the corner. From the line out Medway won a 5 metre scrum but lost the ball in an ensuing ruck, probably to another penalty, we'd lost count at this point. Wardzynski then put in a great run up to the Sidcup 10 metre line. The visitors were driven back again in the scrum and seemed to panic as the ball came out releasing Jake "What me sir" Christodoulou who gained valuable yards with a fine drive and then Whitnell picked up and powered through for the try he deserved, lighting up a thoroughly deserved Churchill cigar on the way back for the restart. An easier kick this time and the Ginger Peril stepped up and slotted it over to give Medway a 17-0 lead. Coach Gordon "Arkwright" Stone then replaced Whitnell with John "Samson" Last, the Care Bear with the "Terminator", Lewis Bailey, and What me sir with returning from injury, David, "Murder on the dance floor", McManus. McManus made an immediate impression, we think it was Frank Spencer, before a powerful run down to Sidcup's 5 metre line but they kicked clear. The Wing Commander caught the clearance brilliantly as the kick went over his head and turned to return to the Sidcup 10 metres with another blistering run. Brown again starred in the next Medway push as he picked up from the back of a scrum and powered through once more. Rare Sidcup possession saw them put together some nice rugby and a couple of phases saw them reach half way but Wardzynski picked up and with Cornell's help pushed play back well into the Sidcup half. Sidcup kicked clear and something snapped resulting in both sides joining together in what seemed to the casual observer to be some form of audition for Strictly Come Dancing, as held together in mutual recognition, they danced off the sidelines and over the bank towards the Show Pitch. Despite the various dodgy moves nobody was penalized and play resumed. For the final minutes of the game Sidcup enjoyed some time in the Medway half but there was no flow for them as penalty after penalty disrupted the game. It ended with Medway breaking clear and pushing Sidcup back on the defensive but there were no further scores and the game ended at 17-0 to Medway.

Well played Medway! Our rugby triumphed over a resolute defence. Marchant played a fine game stepping up to the number 9 slot in place of Dan "95 percent" Stone. Whitnell, Kennedy, Fenton, and the rest of the pack showed great determination. Christodoulou played a blinder and Wardzynski kicked and ran as well as anyone. Man of the match though was undoubtedly the exocet propelled Wing Commander Brown for great work in the line outs and some punishing runs through the Sidcup back line. His reward was to 'Boat Race' with Sidcup's Ollie, arriving on the Club House stage to a fine Cougars rendition of the Dambusters March. The Wing Commander took the spoils here as well - well done all round Tom.

(Scribes, Pete Cornell and Pat Nolan)

Paul's Pictures